28. The Incredible Hulk Move

I think we all like to watch the Incredible Hulk because secretly we all want to just go nuts and tear everything up.  At least once.  Boys get to do this quite frequently, but often they enjoy simply showing off like a crazed superhero — indicating to everyone nearby that although they may not be tearing everything apart at the moment, they certainly could do so if they had the notion.  This is a maneuver I’ve come to call “The Incredible Hulk,” and it’s way more awesome when boys break it out in public.  The more public there is around you, the way more awesome this move is.

The Incredible Hulk move consists of the boy leaping amazingly across the room, sticking a perfect landing in front of his audience, then raising both arms high above his head while clenching every muscle in his little boy body.  (Boys do not flex muscles, they clench.)  The clench is the major component of the Incredible Hulk move, and it’s combined with a giant roar, usually accented by slight wiggling of the fists and arms above the head. All together, this maneuver is one of the great spectacles of nature.

Reasons for boys to exhibit the Incredible Hulk move can include, but definitely are not limited to:  scaring parents found exiting the shower, intimidating other children with fewer superpowers in order to gain more brownies or snacks, and simply the lack of anything better to do when faced with a public opportunity.

The finest display of the Incredible Hulk move I’ve ever seen was performed by my four-year-old son Nicholas at a Christmas party where my wife was singing to a gathering of wealthy opera donors.  Halfway through the collection of beautiful holiday tunes, a song came to its end and a round of applause ensued.  Sensing opportunity, Nicholas broke free of my grasp, bolted for center stage and dropped a near perfect Incredible Hulk directly in front of the piano and his horrified mother.  Between choking on my mouthful of tiny hot dog wrapped in biscuit dough and dragging him back to our seats, I hissed in his ear: “Are you out of your MIND??!!  You can’t break out the hulk in here — you will NOT like your mother when she’s angry!”

4 thoughts on “28. The Incredible Hulk Move

  1. Exiting the shower would definitely be an ideal target for Hulk mayhem and though it may not have been a grand finale, I’m sure those guests remember that Christmas performance over everything.

  2. Pingback: Photo Friday | Stuff Boys Do

  3. Pingback: 49. Superhero Speculation | Stuff Boys Do

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